Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Things I Want The Fat Shamers To Know

I post a lot of relatable memes and photos on my Instagram. One photo I posted over a year ago was of an overweight woman in her underwear, with all of the rude bullying comments she receives thrown around on the photo. It resonated with me because I've been bullied for my weight for the majority of my life, and most people don't truly understand what it's like in the mind of a fat woman.

Apparently, this photo picked up some steam and received some new comments over the last few weeks. One person made the comment that her health is no one else's business, which received a response from someone else stating that it is their business when their tax money is going to these people who choose to put garbage into their body.

This comment got under my skin. I've heard this argument before about obese people using tax money for their health problems. First, I want to say that I'm 41 years old and the only medication I take is an anti-depressant. Everything else seems to be normal and I am considered to be obese. Second, if you want to pull the tax money card, you need to consider EVERYONE in this. You know, the drinkers, the druggies, the bulimics, the anorexics, the trash that just keep popping out kids so that they can receive a welfare check every month....etc.. and not single out overweight people. Plus, most overweight people work and pay the same taxes. And I can guarantee you that there is not ONE SINGLE PERSON who is going to lose weight because you are whining about where your taxes go. If you really want to bitch about tax money, how about you do some research and see how much of your tax money the government is stealing that isn't going towards any type of healthcare!

The people who make these snide comments have most likely never struggled with their weight or eating issues in their lifetime. They have no fucking idea what it's like to live in the mind of a fat woman. They throw around these ignorant comments and say things like, "all you have to do is eat less and exercise and you will lose weight", like it's so damned simple.

We all KNOW what we need to do to lose weight! It's just not as simple as you make it out to be when you've struggled with it your whole life.

I love watching the show My 600 lb Life. Sometimes I watch the people on the show and I see myself. I think that I look as big as they do when I'm nowhere close to 600 lbs. I look in the mirror and see this disgusting blob of flesh that isn't deserving of anything good.

I've spent my whole life being bullied and picked on, made to feel like I'm not good enough, I'm not loveable and that I am disgusting. These things are ingrained in my head. I read all of the hateful and bullying comments on social media every time there is a photo of someone overweight, and feel as if those bullies are directing those comments towards me despite knowing that they are not, but knowing how hateful they are towards anyone who is overweight.

I've been dealing with depression since I was a child and have been on an anti-depressant for a long time. The meds help, but they don't fix it. I am always fighting the negative thoughts in my head telling me that I'm a failure, that I'm not good enough, that no one loves me, and some days all I can do is cry.

I also have social anxiety which causes me to be anti-social and uncomfortable in social situations. See What No One Tells You About Social Anxiety

I've been overweight for almost my entire life. Nothing hugely traumatic has happened to me like on the TV shows. I was just taught bad eating habits from a young age. When something good happened, I was rewarded with food. When something bad happened, I was comforted with food. Food has always been there for me in the good and bad times. It's food addiction.

I hate being fat. I hate being uncomfortable in my own body and not being able to wear the clothes that I want to wear. I HATE IT.

I know fully well what I need to do to lose weight. I've lost 65 lbs at one point, but of course, gained it all back later on.

It's a constant war in my head and a struggle every day to tell myself that I need to eat healthier and cut down on my portion sizes. I know what I need to do, but it's an addiction and a battle in my head. Yesterday, I ate very healthy-- salads, water, lots of veggies...etc., but last night, I felt "off", I'm not sure how to explain it, I just didn't feel well, my depression was at an all-time high, I was irritable and felt like crying for no reason at all. And I wanted to do was eat. I didn't, but I wanted to. I knew if I ate something bad, I would just feel worse than I already did.

No matter how I'm feeling food has always been a comfort. The same way people post memes and joke about going home and having a glass of wine or a beer after a bad day at work, food is what I go to.

I wish these people who go around bashing overweight people because they are soooo concerned about their health, or want to whine about their tax money, could live in my head for just one day. Then maybe they would have a better understanding and more compassion. None of us CHOOSE to be fat. Attempting to boost our self-esteem and feel better about ourselves is not glorifying obesity. It's not as simple as you believe it to be. Instead of being ignorant, attempt to learn the reasons behind obesity.

Obese people don't just choose to be addicted to food. It's an eating disorder, just the same as someone who is anorexic or bulimic. It's a mental issue that should be addressed more than it is and people need to be educated better on the causes of obesity. A little compassion can go a long way.

Please share and help spread the word...

It's Not Your Fault - Weight Gain, Obesity and Food Addiction Book $14.45


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