Friday, May 11, 2018

Top Signs of Online Dating Addiction

Online dating can be fun. It’s a great way for meeting new people and it gives you a way to sort of get to know a person a little bit before agreeing to a date. There does come a point where a person can become addicted to online dating. I guess I can kind of see how someone can become addicted to dating online, and there are certain things that you should watch for, whether yourself or a loved one.

Married people pretending to be single on dating apps

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, addiction is defined as a compulsive need for and use of a habit forming substance.

Most of us probably think of addictions being to mind-altering subjects such as drugs or alcohol, and even food. However, a person can become addicted to anything. It’s when they feel that compulsive need to do something and they can’t stop doing it. Online dating addiction is exactly that.

Dating online can be fun to start with. You find a dating app, whether it be free or paid, you put up a few photos, write a few blurbs about yourself and then get your matches, or search for someone interesting to talk to. It’s when the fun turns into something that you can’t stop thinking about that it can become an addiction. I know the thought of someone having an online dating addiction may sound silly to most of us, but it’s a real thing.

Some people are addicted to the chase. I’ve seen this more with men than women. They are addicted to finding someone attractive, chatting them up, winning them over, then when things get close to a first date, they ghost that person and move on to their next target. It makes them feel powerful and attractive to have the ability to gain the attention and interest of someone else. Once they have won, it’s time to find someone new. This only hurts people.

Signs Of Online Dating Addiction

Using Multiple Dating Apps. Don’t get me wrong, I like to test out dating apps and then pick a few that I stick with. There’s nothing wrong with that. When a person becomes addicted to online dating, they search for any and all datings apps that they can find, set up their profiles and wait for their matches. A couple is OK. Ten dating apps is not OK.

Compulsively Checking Apps. I leave most of my apps always logged in. It’s just a habit I have of not logging out of things. To be honest, these days, I only go on dating apps when I’m bored and have nothing else to do. An addicted person checks all of their apps constantly. Looking at their matches, searching for new users, changing their profiles, changing their profile photos, and sending hundreds of messages a day hoping someone will message back. It's almost like a game to them. They may ignore their job duties to go on their dating apps. They might even stay up until the wee hours of the morning to see if they have new matches instead of sleeping. When online dating takes over your life, it has turned into an addiction.

They can’t keep track of who they are talking to. They have to give each person a nickname or even write them down so that they can keep track of them all. They talk to anyone and everyone who sends them a message and they can’t keep up with all of the messages and texts that they receive. They don’t understand the concept of narrowing their matches down to those that they truly connect with or have things in common with. They want attention from everyone, no matter who they are, and will even ignore friends or family to talk to these people whom they’ve never met in person.

They turn down fun times out with friends or family. When someone is addicted to online dating, they prefer to stay home and talk to their dating app matches than go out in real life and have real fun. They become a recluse, and the only time they go out is when they go out on a date with someone they met online. Online dating takes precedence over everything else in their life. They are addicted to finding love, and they crave the attention they get from other people, even if it’s not real.

They can’t stop. This can be a big problem in relationships. Once an addicted person finds a good match and things get more serious and exclusive, they refuse to delete their online dating profile. They may have just come home from having the most amazing date ever with the most amazing person ever, ending with the most amazing kiss ever, and the first thing they do is log onto their dating profile to see if they have received any new messages from other people. Pretty much ruining their chances of having the real love that they are searching for.

Overcoming Online Dating Addiction

Recovery from online dating addiction can take time but is possible if you are ready to stop. Just like any other addiction, if you aren’t ready to stop, then nothing will work for you. With that being said, here are a few things you can do ensure that you don’t become addicted to online dating, or to help you recover from your addiction.

Are you addicted to online dating?Limit your apps. Limit your apps to only one or two apps, not ten. Pick your favorites and stick with those two and only those two. Delete all of the others.

Limit your time. Set an alarm on your phone for an hour. This is the time you may spend on a dating app. Once that hour is up, log out and don’t look at it again until the next day. If you are chatting with someone, you can make plans to chat outside of the app, using a chat app or texting.

Limit the amount of people you talk to. Three or four people at a time should be your limit. I don’t mean just basic, “hi, what’s up?” chatter, I mean chatting with someone seriously that you may consider going out on an actual in-person date with. Hell, if you’re like me, when I’m talking to one person that I really like, I don’t even bother going on apps to talk to anyone else. I give my attention to the ones that I am sincerely interested in and that I feel are a good match.

Take a break! Sometimes you just need a break! It could be a weekend or an entire week, or even a month! Take time for a dating break. Log out and don’t log back in until that break is over. Dating can be frustrating, especially when things don’t work out with someone you were really interested in, and taking a break from it all may be just the thing you need to give those emotions a break.

Dating shouldn’t feel like work. When someone is addicted to finding love, they can easily become addicted to online dating. It’s easy because it’s right there at your fingertips on your apps, and you don’t have to meet face to face if you don’t want to. The signs of online dating addiction are not good ways to find your true love. You are going to put too much stress on yourself, and it’s not fair to those that you are talking to when you are talking to 20 other people at the same time. Take some time for yourself to find out what it is that you really want.

If you believe that you are addicted to online dating, read through this list of ways to overcome your dating addiction and start off by doing one thing. Then move on to doing two things in the list, and so on, and so on, until you feel that you have control again. Get out into the real world and enjoy time with others who enjoy time with you instead of stressing about finding that one true love. I do believe that things happen when they are supposed to happen. You may miss the opportunity when you are rushing and pushing trying to find it and/or hurt people in the process.

Do you know someone who is addicted to online dating? How do you know they are addicted? Tell us in the comments!

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Online Dating Is Hell  (Paperback)


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