Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Tips For Sending The First Message On Dating Apps

Online dating is strange. You can find so many different people on these dating apps -- professionals, blue collar workers, teachers, doctors, thugs, disabled, users, and abusers. You certainly can't judge a book by it's cover, but isn't that the reason for the whole swiping left or right thing? To judge by appearance?

When it comes down to it, like everything else, personality trumps everything else. Someone may be extremely good looking, but if they can't carry on a decent conversation then obviously they are going to be difficult to get to know. Some people don't know how to carry on a conversation, some don't even know how to initiate a conversation and they wait for the other person to make the move.

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Sending that first message can be daunting because you really don't know what kind of person the other person is apart from what is written in their dating profile. Are they going to be rude? Are they going to be polite? Maybe they won't respond at all? The only way to find out if this person would be a good match for you is to dive in head first and send that first message.

Tips For Sending The First Message

Read Their Profile
The very first thing you should do before sending that first message on a dating app is to read their profile in its entirety. Do you have anything in common? If you do have something in common, use that to grab their attention! For instance, if they like a band that you love, ask them what their favorite song or album is. Show them that you took the time to read their profile and grab their interest by using something from it. If they mention a TV show that you like, ask them if they have seen such and such episode? This will break the ice for both of you and you can build on getting to know one another from there.

Don't Be Boring
It's way too easy to send a message like, "Hey" or "What's Up?". I know you may feel like you're throwing the line in the water hoping for a bite, but most people are going to ignore those simple messages because you didn't do anything to grab their attention. This shows them that you are putting the minimal effort into chatting with them and you probably send the same message to every profile you like. Make the first message unique to the person you are sending it to.

Hey Mike! (always use their name if it is is in their profile) I noticed that you like horror movies. What's the scariest movie you have ever seen?

This encourages a response and it shows that you took enough interest in them to read through the profile!

Start Off With A Joke
Heard a cute joke lately? Jokes are a great ice breaker. Just the other day I had a guy send me a first message starting with a kitten joke. It was cute and it made me smile. Of course I  messaged him back after that. People like to laugh and most of us enjoy stupid cute little jokes. Just make sure that the joke is not offensive or rude in any way. Try a few different jokes and see which one gets the most responses! Once you have someone messaging you back then you can go from there and work on getting to know one another.

Don't Be Offended
Don't be offended if the person on the receiving end of your message doesn't respond or if they tell you that they are not interested. You can't expect everyone to be interested. We all have different tastes and preferences. Don't let it get to you. Don't let it stop you from trying again. It truly is like fishing -- you cast your line in to see who you can catch on the other end. You may only catch a few but there are hundreds that got away. Would that stop you from going fishing again? Even if someone responds to you in a rude manner, just ignore them and their immaturity. Obviously you don't want to talk to someone like that anyway, right?

Keep The Conversation Going
We are all busy people, but please don't be that person who responds to questions with one worded answers. If the other person makes an attempt to get to know you better by asking you questions, answer them! You don't have to go into long-winded details, but a couple of sentences will suffice. Don't let the conversation die by not asking any questions back. If you are truly interested in talking to this person, put a little bit of effort into it. Show them that you are interested! Honestly, if I find myself doing all of the talking and the other person is only giving short responses, I assume they are either not interested or they have nothing intelligent or interesting to say, so I stop wasting my time.

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Online dating can be both fun and frustrating. You can meet so many different types of people that you wouldn't normally meet in real life. It can be extremely frustrating for a few reasons. Either the people you are interested in don't respond, or they are a boring chat. Your goal is to find someone that you really click with and set up a face to face date. You don't want to rush it, but you also don't want to be texting buddies for three months before meeting.

Some people believe that there are certain rules you have to follow with dating online, such as only send so many messages or don't do this and don't do that. You know what though? There is no set rule when it comes to using dating apps. You do what you feel comfortable with, just don't go crazy and blow up anyone's phone or be annoying if someone doesn't respond to your initial message.

You will also most likely interact with some real psychos who send you 450845 messages after you have told them that you're not interested or if you don't respond to them at all. I got called a stuck up bitch just a few days ago because I didn't respond to someone's message. I don't HAVE to do anything! It's not my job to respond to every single message I get. Some people feel it's rude not to respond at all, but I don't have the time to send "sorry not interested" messages to every single email  I receive. I'm not rude, it's just what I choose. I don't OWE you anything just because you sent me a message. If someone is bothering you or sending you nasty messages, most dating apps have a block button or a report button. Use the block button and move on. It will happen, just don't freak out about it. The crazies are everywhere.

Don't get your hopes too high when you try dating online. There are millions of people out there to sift through and it can take a long time to find that perfect match. It most likely won't happen right away, but don't let that bring you down. Have fun with online dating and don't take it too seriously, otherwise you are most likely going to be disappointed.

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