Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Top Reasons Why Men Ghost After A Great First Date

Imagine this: You go out on a date with a guy that you are super into, and he acts super into you as well. I'm meaning like he is telling you how sexy you look, the conversation is just flowing, you're laughing and having a great time. He mentions a second date or something that we could do "next time" and we even begin to make plans. At the end of the night, he says he had a great time and can't wait to see you again. You are super excited after the date and are so happy that he's into you, too -- until he ghosts on you. Why do men act interested and then disappear?

Yeah, it happens. I thought it was just me and wondered what I did wrong? Was I too shy? Did I seem too needy? Did I say something wrong? But then after talking to some other single gals, I realized that it wasn't just me. It happens to a lot of women, and none of us can figure out why? Why would they act interested in you if they're not? Why would they make plans to go out on a second date with someone only to never talk to them again?

This has happened to me more than a few times. On one date I went on, the guy couldn't stop kissing me goodbye at the end of the night, literally, every time I would start to walk away, he would grab me for more (which I was loving, by the way), then about 15 minutes after he left, he called to talk to me on his drive home. Wow, this guy is really into me! I heard from a couple of times after that via text, and then he stopped responding. He ghosted me after our first date, despite acting so interested. I was devastated and couldn't figure out why he did that.

Once I found out that I was not the only one that this has happened to, I decided to turn to my faithful Instagram followers. I can always count on them to give me their honest opinions. So I asked them this question:

And here are the responses I got.

comyboy: Maybe something else went exclusive and too chicken shit to say that. Or wants the possibility to continue if the exclusive thing doesn’t work out.

ian42n8: Likely cause could be revenge. They've been dumped and want to inflict it on anyone who comes close.

ignore_list: I've never done that, don't understand men who do. Shows a complete lack of character

childfreesista: Cuz people are crazy.

fabulousjlo: I usually assume someone or something "better" came up. The best is when they text you out of the blue 2 weeks later like nothing happened. Ghosting is for cowards.

warwicklatta: That only occurs if the guy has no intention of committing, and is a complete tosses...

jazzhandsinenglishlands: I’m a girl and I wouldn’t do that to someone myself but here are my ideas: meant it at the time but changed mind, knew they didn’t want to meet again but too chicken to say it face to face, circumstances changed after date (back with ex, heard something about the girl etc), meant to get in touch but too night time passed and felt bad..... could be lots of things. Also could be complimentary because they are a nice guy. Nice guys sometimes change their minds and such too, no one is perfect! It’s not a nice situation to be in but don’t tar all guys with the same brush 😃

bumbledisaster: This happened to me, on my first plenty of fish date, after months of not ever having a second date but him continuing to call, text, and stay friends on social media I asked. He said, because my kids were younger and his was almost out of high school he just didn’t want to get into things with me, and that although he was very interested in maybe casual sex, he knew that’s not what I wanted so he left it alone and didn’t continue to “date” me. I can respect a man with answers. I’ve also had a man ghost me after several dates, last thing he said was that I was his hero. Had to ask another single guy what that was about, he said men that do that do it because someone better came along. So now I believe it and never wonder about them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

_catherinekate_: It means they’re not interested. The reason he was complimenting you etc is because it was a ‘date’ & that’s what you do on a date. Maybe he was nervous or lacked intelligent things to say so he just acted in a ‘date’ fashion, leaving you thinking he was really interested but he wasn’t.

As you can see by the above answers, I got a lot of input and opinions. 

I don't know about the rest of you out there, but if I am on a date with someone that I'm just not feeling it with, I would not be rude, by any means unless he was a real creeper, but I also would not throw compliments at him all night and suggest a second date!! I don't think being on a date requires that you compliment the other person all night, hold their hand, or kiss them multiple times, let alone make plans for a future date. Why would some of these people think that?? 

To me, the first date is like a test to see whether or not you feel a connection with that person. If not, hopefully, you can remain friends, if there is something there, then you hope for a second date. It doesn't mean getting someone's hopes up and telling them that you are interested when you are not.

This really hasn't cleared up any of the confusion. I guess I don't understand why someone would get another person's hopes up, just to disappear and not give them a reason why. One person responded to my question telling me that I should ask my date why he did it. Umm, if he's ghosting me, that means he doesn't respond to my texts! 

I guess we will never know why people really ghost after a good date. It makes it difficult for us to know when someone is being real or not, and why we don't trust anyone. This is the reason why. Don't fake feelings if you don't have them. Don't ghost someone, plain and simple. It's the cowardly thing to do.

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