Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Manners 101: How Not To Be A Douche Bag

Being an introvert makes me very anti-social. I don't like being around a lot of people, especially strangers. My social anxiety makes things even worse and causes me to become very uncomfortable in social settings. I really don't get out much apart from weekly grocery shopping trips and going to a few local stores throughout the week. Another reason I am so anti-social is because the majority of people are fucking idiots. The majority of society lacks basic respect and manners, and they annoy the Hell out of me. Obviously, their parents never taught them how to not be a twatface in public. Every single time I go in public, I become annoyed multiple times and more often than not, leave the store in a bad mood because of these ill-mannered people I'm forced to share air with.

Manners 101

This is why I've made a list of how NOT to be a douche bag when in public. 

Read it. Remember it. Follow it!

  1. Make your little bratty kids behave in public. Last week, I was at the grocery store and some kid who looked like he was about 10 was going around writing "Gucci" with his finger on every single refrigerated glass door that was steamed up from the humidity. He was running around yelling and acting a fool while mom was just walking around by herself, oblivious to the entire thing. I saw the two of them multiple times and didn't see her speak to him at all. Way to raise an asshole. This is something I see on a regular basis. Kids running around acting stupid with the parents paying no attention to them.
  2. Get off your phone when in public! No one, I mean NO ONE wants to hear your stupid ass conversation while waiting in line behind you or trying to grab the bread from beside you. Is it THAT difficult to say, "I"m at the store can I call you back in a few minutes?"? Unless it's a life or death situation, take that shit somewhere else.
  3. Get out of the damned way! If you see someone else coming or trying to get something that you are standing in front of, have the common decency to move out of the way or at least apologize for standing in the way. Don't turn around and look at me standing there waiting, and just turn around and keep standing there doing nothing. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to, so get the Hell out of the way! Same goes for those who just block the entire aisle so no one can get through either way, and they continue to stand there knowing that people are waiting to get through from both ways.
  4. Put some damned clothes on! I, nor my children, or the 80-year-old walking in front of me want to see your ass cheeks hanging out of your booty shorts, nor do we want to see your fat stomach hanging out of the bottom of your shirt. (Not fat shaming, I'm fat, too, but I make sure my rolls are covered up!). There are going to be kids of all ages in these types of public places, show some respect and try not to dress like a hooker on vacation.
  5. If you absolutely have to bring all TEN of your children with you, at least keep them in check. Teach them manners and how to stay out of others' way. It's bad enough that you have to bring every single one of them with you, but make sure they don't annoy other customers. And if you don't have to bring them all, leave some of them at home so they aren't in everyone else's way!
  6. Be polite! If you accidently bump into someone, say sorry. If you notice that you are in someone's way, apologize and then move so that they can get through. An "excuse me" or "sorry" can go a long way. Don't bump into someone and then give them a dirty look!! Don't stand in someone's way and then act like you don't see them or that you don't give a shit.
  7. Don't yell or talk to your kids at the top of your lungs throughout the entire store. There is no reason to talk that loud! If I can hear you yelling at your kids three aisles over, you need to lower your damned voice and teach your kids to listen better. Even if you're not necessarily yelling at your kids, there's no reason to continually talk to them in such a loud tone that the entire store can hear it unless you have a hearing problem. I don't want to hear your loud annoying voice every two minutes. Shut the fuck up!

Seriously people, don't be a douche bag! What you do in your home is one thing, but when you are in public, carry yourself with a bit of respect and show it to others. Everyone is on a mission, we all have shit to do, don't make it more difficult than it has to be.

Be a good role model to your kids and teach them these basic manners and respect, so that they don't end up being the douche bags of the future. I don't want to deal with idiots. I try to stay far away from them, but going out in public makes that nearly impossible. Don't be that idiot. If you do any of the above things on the manners list, make a conscious effort to not be a douche bag. Please. Otherwise, you just look like an asshole. 

Be sure to share the knowledge below!!

I Am Surrounded by Fucking Idiots t-shirt. Get it here.


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