Friday, May 4, 2018

Parents: Stop Raising Your Kids To Be Bullies!

My high school days were Hell. I remember them clearly. My mother would drop me off in front of the school, and I would walk down the long hallway to get to the lockers as fast as I could with my head down, hoping, praying that he wasn’t there. He was that kid, the bully who would yell out, “Hey baby!” along with some other unsavory words like, “Why don’t you come sit with me?”. Sometimes he would even get up, walk over to me and put his arm around me when he said it. No, he wasn’t flirting, he was making fun of me for being fat. He must have learned it from somewhere, and this is why people need to start teaching their kids not to be bullies.
Bullying text with words
I was always the fat girl who was bigger than everyone else. I’d walk down the hallway and someone would make a snide sarcastic comment to me while their friends watched and laughed. This killed my self-esteem. Bullying chips away at your self-esteem and changes how you see yourself.

It got to the point where I dreaded going to school. I would try to use every excuse possible not to go. I felt nervous and sick to my stomach every morning. When I did go, all I wanted to do was get there as close to the bell ringing as possible so that I could go straight to class instead of being made to stand in the hallway where the bullies gathered with their minions. Bullying in schools is, unfortunately, an everyday occurrence and can make life miserable for the kids who are on the receiving end of it.

In 9th grade, Algebra was my last class of the day. This class had three older boys in it who had failed miserably in the years before and were trying once again. I was their target in the classroom. They would wait for me to walk into the room. Sometimes they would even wait in the hallway for me, and then follow closely behind me while making lewd comments to me. They made fun of me every chance they got, even when other kids told them to just shut up. The teacher never did anything. She may have told them to stop here and there, but she never really did anything. I think she was scared of them, too. Needless to say, I don’t think they even graduated, but they got their kicks out of bullying me.

Back then, I didn’t have the confidence to stand up to these bullies like I would now. I would simply walk as fast as I possibly could in order to get to my next class and try my best to ignore them and act like they didn’t bother me, when deep inside, I felt like I was being torn apart.

Now that I’m a parent, I’ve realized that bullying stems from how a person is raised. Many kids watch their parents be bullies, so they think it’s ok to make fun of others. Or maybe their parents were just too damned lazy to teach them how to be respectful and decent human beings? Many of these childhood bullies will grow into adult bullies and will spend their lives being a douchebag bully.

I taught my children from a young age that bullying is not tolerated. I showed them that being different is perfectly fine. It’s better to stand out than to blend in, and just because someone may look or act differently, it doesn’t give anyone the right to make fun of them or belittle them. I taught them to treat everyone the way that they would want to be treated.

No, my kids aren’t perfect, but now that they are teenagers, they have been known to stand up to bullies and for the kids who are too scared to stand up for themselves. Luckily, our school stands behind their no tolerance policy when it comes to bullying, but a lot of schools don’t. The may preach it, but they don’t follow through with it, and bullying is the norm in their schools.

Parents teach your kids not to be bullies


  • Teach your kids that it’s ok to be different. Who cares if someone has red hair or wears big glasses. So what?
  • Teach them what respect is and how to show respect to their fellow classmates.
  • Teach them how bullying makes other people feel.
  • Teach them about kindness, and to be accepting of everyone despite their weight, height, or financial class.
  • Teach your kids how to not to be little assholes who are going to grow up into big assholes. 

If your kid is a bully, it’s a reflection of you. You raised them and you taught them what kind of behavior is appropriate. Bullying is a big problem in schools these days, and it can be extremely damaging.

As an adult, I struggle with my confidence and self-esteem daily. I look in the mirror and see a disgusting creature who isn’t deserving of love. I walk into a room of strangers and almost expect people to stare and laugh. If I hear people laughing, I instantly assume that they are laughing at me. Bullying killed my self-esteem and has made me feel worthless for the majority of my life even after all of these years. Those words and actions can stick in someone’s head forever.

People who bully others most likely lack their own confidence and self-esteem causing them to put others down in order to make themselves feel better. Lift your children up so that they don’t need to put others down. Teach them how to be good human beings. No one else is going to do it for you. Schools try to teach anti-bullying, but they can only do so much, and it’s not their responsibility to raise your kid to be a good person.

Stopping bullying starts at home. As a parent, you are the one who molds your children into what they become. If they are nasty little bullies who like to belittle others, that says a lot about you as a parent. You didn’t do a good job, but it’s not too late to teach them better ways. Do it now before they turn into adult bullies who spend the rest of their life bullying others. No one likes a bully, except for other bullies. Typically, bullies raise bullies.

Have you been bullied? Have you raised a bully?

Middle School: How I Survived Bullies Book


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