Thursday, January 18, 2018

How to Get Over Being Cheated On and Move On

Have you ever had complete 100% trust in someone? You trusted this person so much that you never doubted them for a minute? ... That is, until they gave you a reason to doubt them? And then that complete trust you once had was tossed out the window as if it never even existed?

Remember that moment that you first found out. Maybe your spouse or significant other slept with someone else or were simply talking to other females in an inappropriate fashion. At first, you don't want to believe it. It has to be some sort of misunderstanding. It can't be true. He wouldn't do that to you; he loves you too much.

Until you have all of the proof right in front of you. You feel like your entire world is crashing down on top of you. He touched another woman! He told her he loved her! He said he loved me! How can this have happened? What did I do wrong?

No matter what the reason for cheating is, it's not you, it's them. If they weren't happy in the relationship then they should have gotten out first. Being cheated on can kill a person's self-esteem and make them feel worthless and just not good enough.

It's Up To You

Will you stay or will you go? No one can make that decision for you, but you. It's your decision if you want to try to forgive and forget the bad deed and work on the relationship or if you want to move on by yourself. In my opinion, if you forgive them for cheating once, that gives them a green light to do it again because they think you will be ok with it each and every time. It's not worth it to me, but like I said, that's your decision, not mine.

Most people will choose to leave a relationship once the other person cheats. Then you are left with a hole in your heart, feeling that you will never be able to move past this. You don't want to be with anyone else, you won't be able to trust again, and you won't be able to love again.

Eventually though, it will get better.

The thing is, it won't be the same for everyone. You can do things to help ease the pain, but it's going to take time.

  • The best thing you can do is surround yourself with loved ones and friends whom you can talk to about what you are feeling. Go out and have fun instead of sitting at home letting your thoughts get the best of you.
  • Find a new hobby. Discover a new hobby that you really enjoy and concentrate on that new hobby. Whether it be collecting something or creating something, see what's out there that really sparks your interest.
  • Cut off contact with the other person. They may grovel and beg for your forgiveness, but the best thing you can do is to not respond. Block them if you have to. There is nothing in the world that justifies cheating and you don't need to listen to the excuses or the apologies. 
  • Work on yourself. What's something you have been wanting to do for yourself for a long time? Maybe lost some weight? Work out more? Get a massage? Pay some attention to yourself and you will feel a lot better in the long run.
  • Make a to-do list. We all have things that we want to get done in the back of our head, but we just never get around to it. Well, stop just thinking about it and get busy! Make a list of some of these things and work on them as you have time. Always keep yourself busy so that you don't have time to think about your last relationship.
Whatever you do, do not jump into a relationship to fill that void. You need time to heal your broken heart before attempting a new relationship. This can be difficult because if someone hurts us, the first thing we want to do is prove to ourselves and that other person that we can find someone better, but rushing into a new relationship is not going to turn out well. You don't want to bring that baggage into a new relationship, so you must ensure that you are healed before moving on to someone new. That's not fair to the new person or yourself to do that.

The biggest thing you need to remember is that you deserve better than to be with someone who can't or won't be faithful. You should be with someone who will never purposely do anything to hurt you.

You are worth more than that!

Once you feel the hurt lessen and that you are ready to date again, get out there and do it. Keep your guard up, but don't be afraid to open yourself up to new possibilities.

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Not "Just Friends" - Rebuilding Trust

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