Thursday, June 8, 2017

Being Single vs Being In A Relationship

Being single isn’t the worst thing that can happen to someone. There is no rule book stating that you have to be with someone romantically in order to be happy in life. In fact, being single has a lot of perks to it, it may just take awhile for you to realize what those perks are.

After my divorce from my now ex husband, I was one of those people who felt like I had to be in a relationship. I had to have someone in my life in order to feel as if my life was whole. I ended up dating a lot of douchebags who took advantage of my kindness and used me for many things including money and even a place to stay. After my last “relationship” I had finally had enough. I found out that he was just using me for money and took advantage of me by telling me exactly what I wanted to hear.instead of what he meant. I was done.

This was when I realized how much better off I am being single. I don’t need a man in my life to make me happy. I’ve heard many people say that you can’t expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself. This makes so much sense to me now. When I was feeling low and unloved, I expected a man to fill that void which meant I was lowering my standards and letting people in who didn’t have my best interest a heart or whom didn't deserve my kindness.

This was when I became more selective about who I gave my attention and time to. I realized that I am worth so much more than what I was getting. I raised the bar and now that I’ve realized how nice being single can be, it’s going to take someone very special to change that.

Being Single Vs Being In A Relationship

Being Single:
  • No one to answer to
  • Having the bed all to myself
  • Doing things my way without having someone complain or try to change it
  • No drama or arguments
  • No worrying about who he is texting or if he is cheating
  • No “manly” things taking over my bathroom (although that will change soon with 2 growing boys)
  • Not having to check with anyone else before making big decisions

Being In A Relationship
  • Having someone to come home to and talk about your day with
  • Having someone to cuddle with
  • Having someone to go out and do things with
  • Having someone just “there” for you when you are going through a rough time
  • Regular sex
  • Always having a date for special occasions

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have a good loving relationship with the right person but finding the RIGHT person is what seems to be so difficult. Sometimes I feel a tinge of jealousy while listening to people at work talk about their relationships… that is until I also hear about the drama that comes along with it. Nope, don’t miss that at all.

My kids are getting older and I don’t want to be that old maid who never found love again but I am also not going to put up with any bullshit in a relationship either like I have in the past. I need someone who can show me that all men are not the same and relationships should be equal give and take. Maybe he’s out there somewhere looking for me, too?

Being single really isn’t that bad, I promise. My advice to you is to be selective with who you decide to date, take time to really get to know them before things begin getting serious. It takes more than a couple of dates to truly know someone. If you want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with then you have to make sure that they are someone whom you can put up with for the rest of your life!


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