Saturday, June 3, 2017

8 Dating Tips For Single Parents

Being a single parent is a tough job. Attempting to date while being a single parent can prove to make things even more difficult. Since writing the post How to Date A Single Parent, I have had a few people ask me for tips on dating while being a single parent. I’ve been a single for almost 4 years now and I’ve made some mistakes along the way. I’m going to share with you what I have experienced and figured out while being a single parent dating.

My biggest advice above all else is that as a parent your children should always come first. As a good parent, this should be your number 1 rule. If you are going to be in a relationship with someone, your children are going to be in a relationship with them, too (not the same but you know what I mean). If a new man or woman is going to be in your life, they are also going to be in your children’s lives. You have to take them into consideration when deciding who you are going to bring into their lives.

When you have the responsibility to take care of a child or children by yourself, you are most likely an extremely busy person and don’t have a lot of time for going out and meeting new people. This is where online dating can be somewhat helpful. It gives you a chance to weed out the bad ones and get to know someone a little bit before meeting in person and going on a first date. You don’t have to find a babysitter or sacrifice your time while getting to know someone new.

If you aren’t sure about using online dating to find a boyfriend, you can always ask some of your friends if they have any single friends that they think would be a good fit. For God’s sake, don’t go looking for a boyfriend at the local bar or club. Just don’t.

Tips For Single Parent Dating

  • Have a babysitter in mind. If you don’t have a babysitter and you know that you won’t have time to get away for a date, then dating is going to be very difficult for you. If it’s not possible for you to get some time away once in awhile then what’s the point? Have a plan in place for when a dating possibility comes up.
  • Don’t invite the guy over to your house immediately. Just because you like someone does not mean that you should invite them over to your house with your children before knowing them well enough. This can be dangerous and it can confuse your children bringing someone around who may or may not stick around. Children don’t always like change so it’s important not to introduce them to a new guy or girl until you are fairly sure that he is going to stick around for awhile.
  • Be sure that the other person knows your situation. Make sure that he knows your children always come first and this means that plans may change sometimes at the last minute or that you can’t always jump at last minute plans.
  • Always be on guard. This means, if things don’t seem right then they probably aren’t. Follow your gut instincts. You don’t need to bring a lot of drama and negativity into you and your children’s lives. If something feels off, then you should probably walk away before anything gets too serious and your kids get attached. If you catch them in a lie, know that the lies probably won’t stop. If they seem to be secretive about something then they mostly have something to hide. Use your brain over your heart.
  • Introduce your kids slowly. Depending on their ages you may be able to tell them about your new love interest beforehand. Explain what type of relationship this is turning into and tell them all about this new person so that when the time comes they will be prepared. Plan a fun family outing for the first meeting time.
  • Don’t move him or her in too quickly or move in with him right away. Moving into a new home or bringing someone else into your home is a huge change for children and it should not be taken lightly. What happens if you guys break up in a month or two? Will you have to find a new place to live? Will everything change again? Don’t choose to co-habitate until the relationship gets serious and your children are completely comfortable with this new person.
  • Be choosey. I know single parenting can get lonely but don’t be that desperate person who is so lonely that they are willing to jump into a relationship with any cute guy that shows your some attention. Wait until you find someone who has the same goals as you, is independent and will only compliment your family. Rushing into a relationship typically only leads to disaster.
  • Let your guard down.. A little bit. We have all been hurt and we all want to protect ourselves from getting hurt in the future. Unfortunately, we can protect ourselves too much by not letting our guard down and give someone new a chance. I know it’s hard, believe me, I know. The key is to let your guard down a little bit at a time until you know that you are safe with this new person. Learn from your past but don’t let it hinder your future.

Dating when you were younger and child-free was so much easier than it is dating as a single parent. You have other human lives to look out for and it is your responsibility to protect your children and make sure that you are bringing the right person into their lives. You are responsible for their safety and happiness so they must be considered when you enter into the dating world, and especially a serious relationship. There are some amazing step parents out there but there are also some horrible step parents. Which do you want your children to have one day? Don’t be one of those parents who brings someone in and out of their children’s lives every few months. That’s very confusing and hurtful for your children.

Being a single parent while dating can be challenging but if you put some time and effort into it, you might find your prince or princess one day. Just make sure that you find someone who is going to bring some happiness to your family and not grief.

Single Parent Guide to Love, Dating, and Relationships. $6.99


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