Friday, April 28, 2017

My Dating Stories: My What If..

I think the majority of us all have 1 or maybe 2 people that popped into our lives for a brief moment and was gone. The what if. What if things had been different? Would we be together now? What if I would have taken that extra step, would I have my happily ever after? I’m sure a lot of us have that what if person; the one who got away from us too soon. Here is one of my what ifs.

Mark began messaging me on meetme. At first I thought he was a weirdo and I just ignored him.. But he wouldn’t give up. He kept asking me out over and over and I just kept blowing him off. I talked to him a few times and told him that I wasn’t interested. He still didn’t give up and I noticed that some of the things he was saying really made me laugh (I’m a sucker for a man who can make me laugh). He begged me to go out with him one time, just one date and if I didn’t like him, he would leave me alone from then on out.

Mark was a union pipe fitter (and yes, he loved telling everyone that he laid pipe for a living), had recently moved here from Arizona, and he had long dark beautiful hair, plus that great sense of humor. One day, something just clicked in my head that maybe I should just give him a chance, so I gave him my number for us to text and see how things went.

Once I gave him a fair chance, we just hit it off great and made plans for our first date. It was the Friday after Thanksgiving. I had to work but our boss let us leave after a half day and I was soo excited for this date. I was also nervous that it would be awkward if I didn’t like him the way that he liked me, but the night ended up being great. As soon as we met, he gave me a big bear hug. His photos didn’t do him justice either, he was super cute, with long hair that I loved, tall, and intelligent.

We ended up at my house watching a movie and drinking some Vodka. Our date turned into all night and part of the next day. We spent a lot of time just talking and getting to know one another. He was very affectionate and we had a lot in common. I couldn’t believe how much I liked him. We spent some time cuddled up on the couch talking about past relationships. He hadn’t dated in a few years because his ex girlfriend of many years had died (I don’t recall why at the moment) and I told him a few things about my tumultuous divorce. We talked about what we both wanted in a relationship and even made some plans for fun things for us to do in the future. I didn’t want him to leave when he had to go home.

This was 2 years ago during an abnormally brutal winter. We had snow storms every few days. Being that Mark was from Arizona and had only been here for a few months, driving in a lot of snow was not something he was very comfortable with. We had made plans for my next kid-free weekend to get together but bad luck ensued. It was like the Gods were against us! It was already difficult enough because I only had every other weekend free while my kids were with their dad, and it seemed like every weekend we made plans something happened. Snow storm after snow storm, and then a couple of times he was supposed to be off of work at a certain time but ended up having to work late. He seemed to be working all the time but we talked almost every day, then I didn’t hear from him for a week. I thought he was ghosting me so I sent him a couple of texts and he texted back saying that he had been out of state seeing his mom because she had Cancer and this was probably the last time he would see her alive, and he was having a really difficult time dealing with it.

I am very close with my mother and I couldn’t imagine the pain that he must have been experiencing at that time. I knew that I needed to give him his space.I told him that I understood and that I would give him his space until he was ready. He thanked me and told me that he was deleting his meetme profile but I could still reach him via his phone.

That was the last time I heard from him. I hope he was telling me the truth about everything and that he wasn’t hiding anything from me. He seemed like a great guy and I always have that thought in the back of my head what if there hadn’t been so many snow storms or what if something didn’t come up every time we made plans. I completely understood about the weather because I refuse to drive anywhere in a lot of snow unless I absolutely have to. We just seemed to have run into bad luck on the only weekends we could see each other.

Mark is my what if; the one who got away. Once in awhile a random text will pop up on my phone from someone that I chatted with a long time ago and deleted out of my contacts. It always seems to be the losers or the ones I just didn’t connect with that decide to pop back up into my life. It’s never the ones that I want to pop back in again.

Is it true that if things are meant to be they will be? What if we miss our chance? How would we ever know? Are things meant to happen especially when it comes to finding love or do things need to be forced? Is there such a thing as fate? So many questions!!

I would love to see Mark again one day but I don’t think that is ever going to happen. I know that if he was really interested in me, he could have found me. Even if he lost my number he could have made a new meetme account to find me. It’s just not in the cards for me. He kind of opened my eyes and taught me not to pass over prospects so quickly because when we see someone on a dating app., we are just seeing one teensy part of them not their entire being. Finding love involves so much more than photos and a profile. Meeting someone face to face from an online dating app is the only way you will get to know who and what they really are.

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