Sunday, December 25, 2016

Merry Christmas and A Little More

I wanted to post something wishing my readers a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Now that the day is almost over, I wanted to reflect on the day a little bit.

I just haven't been into the holidays much this year. Not sure why. It's been a pretty shitty year honestly and when I think about it, not much good has happened this year and I've just not been feeling it. The kids and I went to Church last night (I'm not a religious person but I grew up going to one church in my hometown) which I haven't been to in literally years. When we got home, I decided to let the kids open up all of their gifts since they had been bugging me about it all day (I can do that since my kids are older and they know all about the Santa deal). Once that was over, we didn't go to bed until after midnight.

We didn't have any big family thing planned for today so we decided to do something we have never done before. Go out and see a movie in the theatre on Christmas day.

Of course, the streets were pretty empty and 99% of businesses were closed except for gas stations and a couple of restaurants. We found an IHOP that was open so decided to have an early lunch there. They, of course, were packed. We had to park around the back and walk around, and there was a line of people waiting to be seated. As we were sitting in the waiting area, waiting for a table to come open, an elderly woman walked in. She walked up to the hostess and gave her her name. A few minutes later, an elderly man walked in and sat down beside her. They sat tightly against one another. They didn't talk much but once in awhile one would whisper something to the other. They looked comfortable. I glimpsed at them whenever I could, trying not to make it look like I was staring. I wondered how long they have been married? 40? 50 years? How many grown children do they have together?

That is what I want. When I am 70 years old, I want to have someone there. When the kids are grown and have a family of their own, I want someone to sit at ihop with. I want someone to be comfortable with; someone to share life with. I know I will never be able to say that I have been married for 50 years or that I've been with my husband since I was 25. That ship has sailed. I still want that best friend and that life partner, Although I am content being single right now, I know that one day my kids won't need me any more and I don't want to be alone forever.

After we ate our brunch, we went to see the movie Collateral Beauty with Will Smith. I wasn't quite sure if my kids would like it or 'get it' We mostly watch horror movies and comedies. This was absolutely one of the best movies I have watched in a long time. I am not one to cry in public but this one pushed me over the edge, and everyone in the theatre was crying. It had some amazing life lessons, along with a horribly painful story. When we left, my 13 year old son said, "that was the saddest movie I have ever seen". 

So, as you can see, today has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. A lot of deep thinking has been done today. Although, I am glad that the holidays are almost over and I am determined to make 2017 a better year (more to come on that next weekend).

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