Saturday, December 10, 2016

Depression, Anxiety, and Dating

All blogs are supposed to have one specific niche that they concentrate on and center their blog around. This was difficult for me to do. I've had a few blogs in the past that sort of got pushed to the wayside once I went through my rough divorce and became a single mother. Writing has always been a passion of mine. I've worked as a freelance writer in the past. I've written some short stories, even written an autobiography (which never saw the light of day but I may add on to one day). I have so many passions that I would like to write about which made it difficult to choose just one

The majority of this blog centers around dating, especially online dating but as you can see from my header, I am also including some articles about depression and anxiety. You may think that these are an odd combination but they are all sort of intertwined for many of us. Let me elaborate.

Depression and Dating
Anyone who suffers from depression knows that being single can play a big part in the illness. No, it doesn't mean that we are desperate or that we feel the need to have to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship but sometimes being single just sucks ass, specifically around special times of the year such as holidays or birthdays. Every day, we see happy couples. We see happy couples at the store holding hands or friends bragging about their significant other on social media. It's easier for someone with depression to feel like a failure because you haven't found "the one" yet when it seems like everyone else around you have. All you want is someone to hold you, and being depressed can also cause a lack of confidence and self-esteem which may hinder us from truly putting ourselves out there into the dating pool. Then there is also the fear that someone wouldn't want to date you with depression for fear that it will have negative effects on the relationship.

Anxiety and Dating
If you have social anxiety like I do, dating can sometimes become a chore. You are socially awkward around others that you don't know well, making the first meet up/first date very difficult. How can you find a good relationship if you are having a problem with getting through the first date? It's more than just being shy. Dating with anxiety can be a difficult combination to overcome. With that being said, online dating helps to diffuse some of the anxiety because it's easier to get to know someone without letting them see your shy awkwardness right away, and it may even give you a chance to talk to them about your anxiety before planning that first date.

Online Dating
People have varying opinions about online dating. Some think that it's a great way to meet someone new that you may not ever have had a chance of meeting in real life, while others still think that only losers and crazies utilize online dating apps. The truth is, people from all walks of life are using internet dating as an easier way to connect with new people. When you suffer from depression and anxiety, online dating seems like the perfect option for meeting someone new as it takes the stress off of talking to a stranger face to face

All of these things can go hand-in-hand. Dating is already difficult at times, but throw depression and anxiety into the mix makes dating tremendously more difficult. We are always fighting a war in our heads, but have to put on a brave face when meeting someone new. Mental illness can take over our brains at times and while dating, we need to find someone who can understand and is willing to learn about it instead of just pushing us to the side.

It sucks suffering from depression and/or anxiety. Believe me, it's not fun, and if you have never experienced it, then you can't possibly understand. If you are dating someone with depression or anxiety, this blog is a good place to start! Take a look around and learn what you can. We are not unloveable, we just have more struggles which makes us stronger in the end.


I am here for you when you need to talk.
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